Solitaire pt II

I have angered the solitaire gods with my blasphemy.

I suddenly occurred to me this morning (whilst YET AGAIN pressing the ‘deal again?’ button!) that I hadn’t won a single game of solitaire in recent memory.

In fact, have I ever won? It seems like such a distant memory - it has taken on a kind of post-acid trip surrealality… Did I really do/see/vomit on that? Did I really meet that bloke and say those things? DID I EVER WIN A SINGLE GAME OF SOLITAIRE?

I got cocky - the last few games I have begun to think that some malicious entity is trying to teach me a lesson. I suppose I just assumed that if you play x number of games then one has to win a percentage. If x = number of games, j = average game time, i = trips to the toilet and y = number of times you see the bouncing cards (maybe it was a trip) then:

y = (i/x)*j

I assumed a fairly consistent win ratio – but the gods of solitaire have decided to teach me that you can lose. Constantly.

Every time I get the hiccoughs I remember reading in the Guinness Book of Records (note for Americans and visiting aliens – Guinness Book of Records is a yearly publication filled with such great achievements as Man who ate the most eggs in 24 hours. English people would often get very excited about the new edition, as we Brits like to keep abreast of developments in the mass egg eating world.) that the world record holder for hiccoughs was a man who was afflicted for 36 years! So now I am wondering if there is a record for a losing streak of solitaire – and if there is, do I have to get Norris McWhirter to stand and watch me each morning while I sit on the loo?

Written by exmonkey on May 20th, 2005 with no comments.
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