May 2006
You are currently browsing the articles from United By Yucca written in the month of May 2006.
Summer’s here, and aside from the flagrent misuse of apostrophes, is summer a good thing?
Well yes, on the one hand summer brings a whole raft of improvements to our daily life.
- All the beautiful women who must either be hibernating or own property abroad have come back. Welcome home!
- The typical style of dress employed by the nations’ youth (pronounced - yuf) is now in keeping with the season. Although I will miss seeing extremely scantily clad girls and their equally lighlty dressed boyfriends shivering at bus stops in the pouring rain without so much as an umbrella between them, whilst slighlty older (and maybe wiser) people wlak past in there waterproof winter coats and walking boots
- Cycling is no longer the hardship it was in March - although, now if anything it’s a bit warm to be racing up and down the old kent road
- Cats no longer need their owners for warmth
On the downside however summer also brings misery.
- Hayfever
- Heat
- the realisation that cats only use us for heat and food
- Men who don’t know how to dress for the summer. Actually that’s pretty much all men. Certainly this group will consist mainly of blokes who don’t look great in the winter either, but at least were covered up.
Walking through the city today, I was stunned (quite literally) by the white bits, huge bellies (suported by blue short sleaved shirts, tucked into chinos)* and sudden rush to show off their ensemble in the nearest bit of green space (whilst trying to find a spot to sit that affords them of the best view of Janet’s (from accounts) knickers - which everyone else in the park has already seen, because she hasn’t worn a skirt for 7 months and has forgotten how to sit with her knees together)
So summer? Good, Bad? Ask me in autumn.
*Why do office bound men feel unable to dress casually? Chinos were ok back in the early nineties, but now they become the uniform for office monkeys who don’t want to stray to far from their suit.
And while we’re on the subject; if you have a huge gut, DON’T tuck your shirt in - it’s really not a good look.
Written by exmonkey on May 11th, 2006 with 1 comment.
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So basically a bunch of French artis were given a bunch of money by the Arts Council to come up with something… so they did.
I don’t know what it’s all about, but it was one of the most sureal experiences I’ve had in central London.
The Giant Time Travelling Elephant is really huge. It’s really really big. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept I’m trying to get across here. (to paraphrase Douglas Adams).
The whole event (which involved the elephant ‘finding’ the little girl then both of them walking to Trafalgar Square, via Haymarket) was made even more sureal when the deputy Mayor got up to do her speech. It’s rather wonderful to hear a politician use the words “Giant Time Travelling Elephant” in almost every sentance. Every sentance that is except for bit where she started going on the about London olympic bid. She lost the crowd at this point. Democracy in action.
http://www.thesultanselephant.com/
Written by exmonkey on May 6th, 2006 with no comments.
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An excellent appeal from moneysaving expert, Martin Lewis. He wants people to sign a petition to stop TV’s Carol Vorderman from getting stupid people to take out a First Plus loan.
What amazed me about this petition was the response - in the 1 minute i watched, the number of sign ups went from 8000 to 10000. As of this evening, it’s at about 240000!
I’m not sure if it’s a genuine response to an ad campaign that is morally wrong, endorsed by a celebrity who should know better or if it’s just that Vorderman gets on everyone elses tits as much as she gets on mine.
Sign this petition
Written by exmonkey on May 4th, 2006 with no comments.
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Fashion gone mad? or just forgot his belt that morning.
Sometimes you dont even have to look for evidence of our failure to be the dominant species on this planet.
Written by exmonkey on May 3rd, 2006 with no comments.
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I snapped this magazine cover in sainsburg last week.
Where do I start - read the headlines! This magazine is called Take a Break. From WHAT?
- My son’s last wish - Live life to the max, mum
- Roy’s golden wedding list - Send invites, buy cake, KILL WIFE
- Filing error killed my baby
- Revenge on geezers who bonked for visas
- My son, 11, did not kill his sister
I mean, holy crap - that’s some fairly serious misery even for a woman’s weekly. And who in their right mind would call their son 11? No wonder he killed his sister. Oh no, he didn’t do it, did he.
Read it and weep - the word KILL is mentioned 3 times, along with Army, Last Wish, Target and revenge - all on the front cover of this end of checkout magazine. You dont have to be Derran Brown to imagine what kind of subliminal message shoppers are going home with this week.
Anyway - good job magazine people. Between you and the unrelenting hate-fest that is Eastenders, I think you may have taken Britain a step closer to being the suicide capital of Europe.
Written by exmonkey on May 3rd, 2006 with 1 comment.
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