September 2006
You are currently browsing the articles from United By Yucca written in the month of September 2006.
Sainsburys are trying an experiment in my local store.
How unpleasant can we make the presentation of our chill-cabinet selection of vegetarian food for vegetarians?
So far they have scored a big hit with the brilliant strategy of putting the veggie sausages and tofu pieces on the same shelf as the chicken carcasses. Notice how the chickens are actually in amongst the end of the veggie food shelf.
Genius.
Both Debra and I have complained to the store manager, who said “I’ve had hundred of complaints exactly like that”
He then went on to explain that they have no control over the placement of the products in the store - it all comes from head office.
Debra was directed to customer services, where she was told that her comments would be recorded. The woman on the customer services desk said.
I’ve been a vegetarian for 15 years and it doesnt bother me.
I’m guessing that she’s the kind of vegetarian who eats that well known root vegetable - chicken.
Next, Sainsburys plan to smear human excrement on the food in an effort to really break new ground in the field of niche food marketing.
Sainsburys. Where good food comes soaked in chicken blood.
Written by exmonkey on September 27th, 2006 with 1 comment.
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I don’t know which is worse - food porn wank from M&S or the very, very other end of the food spectrum. Pure chemical shite.
We are moving our office to London Bridge soon. One of the stated reasons is the lack of good Monday lunch fodder in Hoxton (that and the excessive amount of Nathan Barleys milling around near my place of work with their ludicrous low slung trousers). The other reason, however, is the state of the communal kitchen in our building and what get brevelled together with processed cheese and bleached bread slices. The smell, by the way, is how I imagine human flesh would smell, if the corpse was soaked in formaldehyde and wrapped in a cheese string before being grilled.
Now, bear in mind that the owner of this packet of ham is Italian, and ask yourself this - Who the fuck would eat such a load of chemical soaked pig protein - especially when, according to Jamie Oliver, they have been raised in the culinary capital of the world.
Just check out that list of ingredients. How can anyone do that to themselves? I guess even positive stereotypes can be wrong.
Written by exmonkey on September 27th, 2006 with 1 comment.
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I think M&S are now taking the piss. I thought at first that the new adverts were a cynical attempt to get foodies to whack one out during the commercial break. Food porn for supermarket snobs.
I have changed my mind. I now believe that this series of adverts is the swan-song of some cancer ridden Saatchi employee having one last laugh at the public he so despises.
Written by exmonkey on September 26th, 2006 with 1 comment.
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Got this from the beeb after I emailed my opinion of canned laughter.
Dear Mr Curtis
Thank you for your e-mail regarding ‘That Mitchell And Webb Look’ broadcast on the 14 September 2006.
I understand you feel the use of studio laughter detracts from the quality of the programme.
Audience reaction is included as an integral part of the programme, and clearly some audiences react in a more exuberant manner than others. While the enthusiasm of a studio audience can annoy some viewers or listeners, there are those who find silence after a joke very strange. Laughter and applause also help to make programmes spontaneous and assist the performers with their timing and presentation.
I acknowledge you feel differently and would like the laughter removed from further broadcasts. Please be assured your comments have been registered on our audience log which is made available to the programme makers.
I do hope you enjoy the next edition of the programme and thank you again for contacting the BBC.
Regards
Tony Brown
BBC Information
I didn’t think the laughter track sounded like ‘audience reaction’ - or at least it sounded like a reaction to another program. At least he acknowledges I feel ‘differently’. At last the mainstream establishment can accept my alternative lifestyle choices. I can come out of the closet!
Written by exmonkey on September 24th, 2006 with 3 comments.
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Further to a conversation in the pub… here is a link to the best toy gun ever invented.
http://writersblocklive.com/oma/
I bought mine from a junk shop when I was about 10. It was missing most of the cool bits, but even in its diminished state, I still knew a brilliant toy gun when I saw one.
Written by exmonkey on September 20th, 2006 with 1 comment.
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I think Mitchell & Webb are very funny. ‘That Mitchell & Webb Sound’ on Radio 4 was brilliant.
The TV show, however, is shit. Why? Not because they aren’t funny. Not even because many of the sketches are rehashes of the radio show - I was actually looking forward to seeing some of them work on the TV.
The reason that ‘That Mitchell & Webb Look’ is shit, is because some TV exec has decided to put a laughter track over the top of the entire show, rendering any humour completely null. How can they have got it so wrong that they think that the people who will want to watch Mitchell & Webb need to be told when to laugh?
It reminds me of the episode of M*A*S*H thay the screened when I was a kid with the American laughter track still attached, and everyone wrote letters of complaint to the BBC (well, obviously not everyone, 65 million people writing letters would probably stop the Royal Mail from delivering letters effectively). It turned out that the BBC normally removed the track, but someone forgot that week. Ah memories from the 80s.
Anyway, I am really, really, bitterly disapointed. I hope someone works out why no one tunes in next week and does something about it.
Written by exmonkey on September 14th, 2006 with 3 comments.
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I wonder if there would have been such a media storm if it was Misbah Iram Ahmed Rana who had been taken to Pakistan rather than Molly Campbell.
I confess to initially thinking - how awful, a poor little British girl suddenly plunged into a completely different culture by her cruel pakistani father who wanted to marry her off to some 67 year old letch. But how much of that thought was because she was called Molly?
I listened to her brother on Radio4 saying “I have no idea where the name Molly Campbell came from - her name is Mishbah”.
Also it seems that Misbah’s mother made up a lot of stuff (like the marriage story) to get the authorities/media on her side.
Whilst it’s always a bad thing when children’s lives are disrupted by family breakups, especially when one parent lives in a far away place - I just don’t think that most cases like this make the news when the children have names like Yusaf or Mohammed.
Written by exmonkey on September 2nd, 2006 with 11 comments.
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