September 27th, 2006

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Food day Pt 2

Sainsburys are trying an experiment in my local store.

How unpleasant can we make the presentation of our chill-cabinet selection of vegetarian food for vegetarians?

So far they have scored a big hit with the brilliant strategy of putting the veggie sausages and tofu pieces on the same shelf as the chicken carcasses. Notice how the chickens are actually in amongst the end of the veggie food shelf.

Genius.

Both Debra and I have complained to the store manager, who said “I’ve had hundred of complaints exactly like that”
He then went on to explain that they have no control over the placement of the products in the store - it all comes from head office.

Debra was directed to customer services, where she was told that her comments would be recorded. The woman on the customer services desk said.

I’ve been a vegetarian for 15 years and it doesnt bother me.

I’m guessing that she’s the kind of vegetarian who eats that well known root vegetable - chicken.

Next, Sainsburys plan to smear human excrement on the food in an effort to really break new ground in the field of niche food marketing.

Sainsburys. Where good food comes soaked in chicken blood.

Written by exmonkey on September 27th, 2006 with 1 comment.
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Food day Pt 1

I don’t know which is worse - food porn wank from M&S or the very, very other end of the food spectrum. Pure chemical shite.

We are moving our office to London Bridge soon. One of the stated reasons is the lack of good Monday lunch fodder in Hoxton (that and the excessive amount of Nathan Barleys milling around near my place of work with their ludicrous low slung trousers). The other reason, however, is the state of the communal kitchen in our building and what get brevelled together with processed cheese and bleached bread slices. The smell, by the way, is how I imagine human flesh would smell, if the corpse was soaked in formaldehyde and wrapped in a cheese string before being grilled.

Now, bear in mind that the owner of this packet of ham is Italian, and ask yourself this - Who the fuck would eat such a load of chemical soaked pig protein - especially when, according to Jamie Oliver, they have been raised in the culinary capital of the world.