Things you can’t change.

There are two types of thing in the world. Things you can change and things you can’t.
The things you can change make an extremely long list. So long in fact that we often miss many of them, because we have become so accustomed to our power to effect.

This list includes; our location, our job, the amount of money in our pockets, our underwear…
The other list is shorter, but ever expanding. Things we cannot change: Our own mortality, taxes, the mind of a two year old who has decided he wants a biscuit.

My personal list has just expanded to include a new and frustrating entry. I cannot change, and have no control over, any dealings with large companies who have abdicated their responsibility for customer service to call centers.

Now, I apologise for the torturous route the previous sentence took, but given how specific I tried to be, it’s amazing how many companies this sentence applies to.
My recent dealings with BT, British Gas, O2, Southeastern Trains and now, surprisingly, Suttons Seeds have given me cause to admit defeat and the ennui they have engendered has cast a shadow over my very soul.

I will not go into any specifics as to why I (in common with much of the UK) have have spent (literally) hours on hold to these companies, but I will tell you what I have discovered.

I have learned that, when a company gets to a certain size, the corporate brain starts thinking that, rather than a service to their customers, ‘customer service’ is just a statistic that can be measured by the number of complaints (and many companies don’t accept complaints, they accept comments) and the number of calls the bored, pressured and underpaid call center operators take every hour.

The distinction is important. The former ensures loyal, repeat customers. The latter ensures that I will tell everyone I can that BT, British Gas, O2 etc will treat you like a piece of dust (or worse, a number), and fill you with a deep, deep sense of despondency every time you have to ‘Press 2′ to speak to a customer service agent, especially when all you want is to find out where the seed potatoes you ordered a month ago are.

If anyone from these companies is reading this, don’t. You will miss the point. True customer service is incompatible with big business, this will never change.

Written by exmonkey on May 20th, 2007 with 2 comments.
Read more articles on General.

2 comments

Read the comments left by other users below, or:

Leave your comment |trackback |RSS

ditdotdat
#1. May 20th, 2007, at 5:44 PM.

The problem is, people don’t really care about customer service. You’ll see that, on forums where people are discussing what kind of router/firewall/wireless bridge to buy. Someone will mention the terrible service they got from Dabs/Ebuyer/Komplett but despite their terrible tale of woe everyone will end up buying their gear from whoever is cheapest because they know that their chances of having a problem are low and they are prepared to take the risk. I always feel sorry for companies who obviously spend a lot of money on their customer service because I know they’ll suffer for it in the end.

exmonkey
#2. May 20th, 2007, at 8:35 PM.

And I am guilty of that too. All for a £2.50 saving.

I am having to make a conscious effort not to fill up with utter impotent rage whenever these companies fuck me around.

Worst of all is the fact that the hapless call center droid is not to blame, so then I feel guilty when I finally crack after being on hold for 40 minutes listening to the Four Bloody Seasons.

And email support is worse - it is of as much use as phone support, but every exchange in the conversation takes 2 days rather than 2 minutes.

Civilization has already ended, it’s just no one noticed.

Leave your comment...

If you want to leave your comment on this article, simply fill out the next form:




You can use these XHTML tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong> .

Related articles