August 2007

You are currently browsing the articles from United By Yucca written in the month of August 2007.

New chickens

Two new chickens added to our herd. We have found that 3 chickens provide the right amount of eggs for three people (with a couple to spare every now and again) - so to keep up with our hungry relatives and friends we decided to get a couple more birds.

I can’t remember what their breed is - begins with a ‘b’ - answers on a postcard. They’re quite stroppy though, compared to the brown originals.

Written by exmonkey on August 28th, 2007 with 13 comments.
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Home cooked and home grown

We’ve just come back form a nice trip to the seaside. The drive was quite nice, lots of pastoral scenes of idyllic Sussex life.

A couple of signs caught my eye however, which reminded me of something I have never quite understood. “Home cooked food” said one. “Home grown potatoes”, said another.

Now, I grow potatoes and I cook food. Hence I could, if I wished to brag, put a sign outside my house telling people what I’ve been up to. Neighbours would no doubt be relieved that I am doing something constructive with my time. They may even knock on my door asking for either food or potatoes. At this point they would be disappointed, because I would have to explain that the home cooked food and home grown potatoes are for my home, not for passers by - sorry for any confusion the signs might have caused.

The sign I saw for “home grown potatoes” was on a farm. Surely, if you own a farm and you grow vegetables, they are “Farm Grown Potatoes” or to give them their correct title - “Potatoes”. What gives?

The “Home cooked food” sign was on a pub. When I was a child I used to vaguely think that home cooked food in a pub meant that one of the bar maids was cooking the food at home and bringing it to work with her - a bit like Betty Turpin making hot-pots for the Rovers Return. I was wrong.

“Home Cooked food” means, “shit food”. Or, to be more precise, cheap roasts marinated in gloopy gravy and served with soggy veg. Home cooked food simply means that their chef is not in any way skilled in the art of cooking.

I’m surprised these lies continue to be told on pub signs and farm gates across the nation. What ever happened to the ‘trading standards’ people that everyone always cites in these situations. I bet they don’t even exist. Just one of those made up urban myth government departments - like DEFRA. In fact, Trading Standards should be reported to…. Oops, almost entered a loop.

And don’t even get me started on our local ‘Farm Shop’ that is nowhere near a farm and sells apples from Chile.

Written by exmonkey on August 26th, 2007 with 4 comments.
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Jam - in three stages

Stage 1 - put strawberries in a big pot, add sugar and leave overnight.

Stage 2 - Once the sugar has disolved, aided by a low heat, bring to a rolling boil for 8 minutes, then test a drip of juice on a cold plate to see if the setting point has been reached.